While we absolutely do sympathize with your case, responsibility ultimately falls on the user to maintain access to their recovery email account if a password reset is required, or keep a record of their password if they choose to change the recovery account. We recommend password management apps such as 1Password or LastPass. This protects the user against unauthorized access of their account.
For now, if you cannot remember your password, you may find success contacting the provider for your recovery account to inquire about recovering/restoring access to that account. Once you have access again, you'll be able reset your OnMail password.